The Light of the Mind
"Weight" pencil on paper
"In the Cards" pencil on paper
"Sara" pencil on paper
"Folding to Fit" pencil on paper
"Looking In" pencil on paper
"Clasped" pencil on paper
"Dissapation" pencil on paper
"Tipping Point" pencil on paper
"My Eyes Always Tell" pencil on paper
"Blocking it Out" pencil on paper
"Digging In" pencil on paper
"The Coming of my Winter"
pencil on paper
"Caving In. Self Portrait" pencil on paper
"A Self Divided" 18" x 24" pencil on paper
"Water for the Sky" pencil on paper
This group of drawings is not what I had planned to do 2 years ago. In January of 2014, I was working on series about meditation and transcendence, but the impetus for Light of the Mind overtook that work. This interruption mimicked the interruption of daily life by depression, of continued life by tragedy.
My wife died of cancer in March of 2014. I needed to explore, understand, and express my grief and depression. I needed to undertake this series. Originally these drawings were meant to be studies for paintings— ways to work out the compositions, study the figures and forms and compose a visual vocabulary that would be grown into the final portraits. But the drawings themselves became significant, the process of sketching a powerful tool for navigating my emotional landscape. Although that psychic space felt dark and barren much of the time, the drawings brought light and life back in. The therapeutic process of their creation demonstrated that these drawings could and should be their own body of work.
Once I realized the subject and form of this project, I sought out models who would do more than pose. I needed people who could be open and articulate their own experiences with depression, so we could collaborate from the depth of personal understanding. Their bodies gave physical form to this psychic pain.